Throughout my life there have been songs that I have connected with on a deeper level...you know, those songs that you put on repeat and scream your heart out to or dance around the living room losing your plot until you're all spent and can move no more.
In my twenties it was "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. When I was post natally poorly it was "Numb" by Linkin Park (I even had the tattoo "more like me, less like you" written around my wrist to remind me how important those words were to me.)
Recently I've felt a deep connection to this...
Regrets collect like old friendsHere to relive your darkest momentsI can see no way, I can see no wayAnd all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of fleshBut I like to keep some things to myselfI like to keep my issues strongIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blindI can never leave the past behindI can see no way, I can see no wayI'm always dragging that horse around
And our love is pastured such a mournful soundTonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the groundSo I like to keep my issues drawnBut it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahShake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaahAnd it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah
I am done with my graceless heartSo tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restartCause I like to keep my issues strongIt's always darkest before the dawn
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your backSo shake him off, oh woah
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your backAnd given half the chance would I take any of it backIt's a fine romance but it's left me so undoneIt's always darkest before the dawn
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don'tSo here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my ropeAnd I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hopeIt's a shot in the dark and right at my throatCause looking for heaven, found the devil in meLooking for heaven, found the devil in meWell what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me
"Shake it out" Florence and the Machine.