They can. I didn't think they would but they do. I wrote them off but they've come back fighting and now they can. And now I know they can.
This blog is a memoir of emotions. It's not a journal of my life or my children's lives. It's a week by week account of my feelings through this life. So I don't often write about what we've done or how things went unless I have an upsurge of feelings on the matter. But this doesn't mean that those things aren't important to me. It doesn't mean that I'm not observing my children or their achievements. It doesn't mean that because the last two posts have been full of anger or upset that life isn't sweet.
Life is very sweet. We are almost through the school holidays and regardless of a few meltdowns I can say its been a joy to be around my children. To get to take them on outings, interact, create activities for them to participate in. I have really enjoyed reconnecting with them in a way I don't get to do when they are at school all day. I'm exhausted but content.
Maybe because of that I've noticed more about them? Maybe it's the book I'm reading (The Spark by Kristine Barnett) about a mother nurturing the talents her autistic child had that has me thinking about that untapped potential? Cody and Jesse can do so much that a year ago I couldn't see. It wasn't that they couldn't do these things a year ago I was just in a very different place, an area in my life that obscured the little lights from my view.
But I'm not in the place the majority of my time now and I can see clearly now the rain has gone. My children can do so much. They have a place in this world and as their mother, as their parents we have to believe in them so earnestly to help them reach that place.
I remember reading a statement by a mother over a year ago that spoke of her son. She said that as an adult with autism he still lived at home, couldn't do his washing or cooking but he was a lecturer at the university he had attended to gain a degree in his passion subject. He had obsessed on his passion since an early age, studied it to masters level, written papers, books and became a lecturer the subject sharing his passion with others. He had a place in this world and although the fundamentals of life were still supported he found his calling.
It really struck a cord at a time when I was finding it difficult to see my own way through this new life yet alone my children's.
But now I can see my children start to develop their own path in life. And therefore I can see mine.
Its early days, very early days but I can see now how I can help them. More than the best schools, the best therapies, the best toys...I can nurture their passions.
Focus on what they CAN do, not what they can't do.