Saturday, 13 April 2013

It is what it is...

It is what it is...these words ran through my mind on continuous loop yesterday, like a form a verbal water boarding.

It is what it is...we went to the safari park. All was fine along as long as we didn't see, feed, or encourage any animals within 2ft of the car. It is what it is.

It is what it is...we spent £20 on wristbands for the fun fair as last time Cody wouldn't come of the train. This time he wouldn't go near it. It is what it is.

It is what it is. The funfair operators watch as we talked Cody off the floor where he had laid in a puddle in defiance. It is what it is.

It is what it is.

It is what it is...other children were enthusing about the penguins, cooing over the meerkats but not our kids. It is what it is.

It is what it is..in their own way they got what they needed out of the day but what if it's not enough? It's not the same to them as it is to others but it is what it is.

I told myself that over and over yesterday..it is what it is, don't fret it. Please don't cry, Donna, it is what it is. They enjoyed it..in their own little way. For them it is what it is. Don't judge them by the actions of other kids. It is what it is.

And for me, life is what it is. We must not stop doing these things. They are what they are. And they'll serve the purpose they do. It might not be what it is for others, but for you it is what it is. Your kids are who they are.

You are the mother you are. Donna, it is what it is...and nothing is gonna change that.

Do you want to change it? What's the point in asking, it is what it is. It just IS.
But what really was it yesterday?

It was tiger noises from Jesse.

Great use of in context echolalia from Cody when he told the approaching camel to "stand down sister!" 

It was Jesse going on the baby pirate ship on her own. And the operator being over the moon he'd helped her experience that.

It was Jesse riding the train twice cus she wouldn't get off.

It was Cody calling the big fish a dark shark!

It was Cody doing what he was asked and 'staying by his mommy and daddy' as we ate lunch.

It was Cody buying a plastic fish from the shop so he could throw it into the hippo lake and say "ah cute!" as it floated there.

It was how it was. They didn't kick off. There was only one minor meltdown. They didn't misbehave. They didn't moan. They just quietly observed. And quietly enjoyed.

It wasn't my kids not coping yesterday..it was me. Because however much I said it to myself I couldn't accept that it is what it is. 

Just another lesson I have to learn to be a better person. To move past the mothers guilt.

But give me time.

Right now it just is what it is.



3 comments:

Sarah said...

We have lot of "it just is what it is" moments in our life. We have spent countless amounts of money to give James an experience, just to have him decide that he would much rather go back to the van and watch a movie. But "it just is what it is!"

Nannyviv said...

So glad you went on to say what IT actually was though even tho we feel your sadness...and it was SO MUCH...well done for not giving up x ps everywhere we've been today we've been looking at it twice...once thro our eyes and then saying what the Cheebies would see/say/do xx

Www.autismandlove.com said...

i vow never to stop doing these things and to find another way to appreciate them..just like the kids do!

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