where were you when the shit hit the fan? tell me that eh?
you don't get to wander in here when you see fit, stare at my children and disappear again. you don't get the right to call them darlings and dissolve into the background when the sun ain't shining? you are here for the duration or not at all. you don't get to pick and chose...we don't so why the hell should you?!
you wanna be part of my children's lives? well here's the deal. you learn about them. you don't just take it all for face value. you don't get to sit pretty on the sofa and wait for them to come to you. you get down on their level. you play. you try to interact. you get ignored. you get disrespected. you get scratched and spat on. you get up and again and you carry on.
you rally round when my family need help..any member of my family. you learn the kids routines so you can be involved when we need someone. to reveal in the smiles you have to take the beatings to.
if you are frightened of my child, if you cant bear the rejection, if you don't want to interact in case you upset them? well tough shit, you cant put your coat on and leave when the dark clouds rumble. that's not on. if you feel you don't know my children and don't understand them then that's your problem. you haven't tried to understand them.
have you research autism? have you read books? read blogs? do you know what therapies they are undertaking? do you know what appointments they've been to and what assessments they are attending? do you know what bottle they like to drink from? what flavour crisps they like? can you spot the signs when Cody is ready for a milk? do you know how much to give him?
do you know what the makaton for "finished" is? do you know to say "stop" instead of "no"? do you know what games they like on their ipads or what cd to play them? do you know what their favourite DVD is or what time they go to bed?
what do they like best for dinner? do they eat apples? do you know what Jesse wants when she goes to the kitchen? do you have a plan B if you get it wrong? do you know how to diffuse a meltdown? do you know what to do when they go through to bed? what songs Cody likes to hear? how much melatonin to give them? do you even know what melatonin is?
if you care, if you want to be part of my children's lives this is a small part of what you have to learn. you don't get to ask them what they want and you pay the price for guessing. so you're gonna have to work damn hard, long hours, lots of research and many upsets. you're going to have to dedicate yourself to your work if you wanna be there when we need you. you're going to have to change your life.
if you wanna say you love them, prove it. otherwise, merry christmas and good night.
Sunday, 23 December 2012
- ▼ 2012 (41)
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